FIVE REASONS WHY COLLEGE GRADE SHOULD PLAY POKER
The end of May marks a strange time for college students across the nation. As graduation nears, it becomes increasingly clear that the days of waking up at 2pm, getting drunk during the week and passing out in a mess of bottles and clothes are almost over.
Yet thanks to the wonderful world of online poker, they don’t necessarily have to be. In this nervous time of sending out applications, worrying about loans, and saying "Good-byes," graduating seniors should take solace in the fact that the job of Professional Poker Player is always hiring, online and offline.
The following are five reasons why the Class of 2006 should give the trade at least a passing thought.
#1 NO DEFINATIVE HOURS
Unless you’re playing in a tournament which starts at a specific time, there’s no need to be at the "office" (read: your computer or a poker room). If you’re sick, just don’t show up – sleep all day and watch re-runs of Step By Step. If you’re hung-over, then spend all afternoon hugging the toilet. Or just sit around and play Video Games. Either way, you aren’t answering to anybody.
#2 NO JOB INTERVIEWS
Everyone hates job interviews. The process of putting on a suit, plastering a fake smile on your face, and answering questions the way you think they should be answered is enough to make anyone’s palms sweat. So don’t do it. Or better yet, if you decide on playing poker professionally just do a couple job interviews for fun: walk in wearing boxer shorts, and throw an empty beer can at prospective employers while you burp and scratch yourself.
#3 WITH ONE BIG TOURNAMENT WIN OR CASH OUT YOU COULD PAY OFF ALL OF YOUR STUDENT LOANS
Imagine playing in an online tournament and winning enough to pay back your loans in one shot. The look on your parents’ face alone would be priceless as you tell them it took you about six hours to pay back the debt that your grandkids were going to inherit. Once your loans are paid off they will also get off your back about getting a "real job." To celebrate, take the futon you slept on while living in their basement out-back and destroy it with a baseball bat.
#4 IF YOU WERE A THEATRE MAJOR:
Face it, a degree in Theatre means that you are going to join the rest of the un-employed actors in New York City as a waiter. Why not take all those years of acting training and apply them to the poker table? Use whatever method of acting you want, as long as people have no idea what you’re holding you’ll make a lot more money than serving food to a bunch of trendy Manhattanites.
#5 "I’M A PROFESSIONAL POKER PLAYER" JUST SOUNDS COOLER
Picture yourself at a bar. All of a sudden you see some gorgeous blonde girl, who looks like she’s straight out of "Gold Digger", sitting all by herself. Which is going to be a better pick-up line? "Hi, my name is John, and I work at Trebacore. I’m working as a janitor so I can work my way up the corporate ladder" or "My name is John. I’m a professional poker player, which means I’m liquid."
Yet thanks to the wonderful world of online poker, they don’t necessarily have to be. In this nervous time of sending out applications, worrying about loans, and saying "Good-byes," graduating seniors should take solace in the fact that the job of Professional Poker Player is always hiring, online and offline.
The following are five reasons why the Class of 2006 should give the trade at least a passing thought.
#1 NO DEFINATIVE HOURS
Unless you’re playing in a tournament which starts at a specific time, there’s no need to be at the "office" (read: your computer or a poker room). If you’re sick, just don’t show up – sleep all day and watch re-runs of Step By Step. If you’re hung-over, then spend all afternoon hugging the toilet. Or just sit around and play Video Games. Either way, you aren’t answering to anybody.
#2 NO JOB INTERVIEWS
Everyone hates job interviews. The process of putting on a suit, plastering a fake smile on your face, and answering questions the way you think they should be answered is enough to make anyone’s palms sweat. So don’t do it. Or better yet, if you decide on playing poker professionally just do a couple job interviews for fun: walk in wearing boxer shorts, and throw an empty beer can at prospective employers while you burp and scratch yourself.
#3 WITH ONE BIG TOURNAMENT WIN OR CASH OUT YOU COULD PAY OFF ALL OF YOUR STUDENT LOANS
Imagine playing in an online tournament and winning enough to pay back your loans in one shot. The look on your parents’ face alone would be priceless as you tell them it took you about six hours to pay back the debt that your grandkids were going to inherit. Once your loans are paid off they will also get off your back about getting a "real job." To celebrate, take the futon you slept on while living in their basement out-back and destroy it with a baseball bat.
#4 IF YOU WERE A THEATRE MAJOR:
Face it, a degree in Theatre means that you are going to join the rest of the un-employed actors in New York City as a waiter. Why not take all those years of acting training and apply them to the poker table? Use whatever method of acting you want, as long as people have no idea what you’re holding you’ll make a lot more money than serving food to a bunch of trendy Manhattanites.
#5 "I’M A PROFESSIONAL POKER PLAYER" JUST SOUNDS COOLER
Picture yourself at a bar. All of a sudden you see some gorgeous blonde girl, who looks like she’s straight out of "Gold Digger", sitting all by herself. Which is going to be a better pick-up line? "Hi, my name is John, and I work at Trebacore. I’m working as a janitor so I can work my way up the corporate ladder" or "My name is John. I’m a professional poker player, which means I’m liquid."
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